Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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