I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He passed out mid-signature
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
