I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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