he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
