check it out our google latitudes are spooning
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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