So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
