it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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