My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
