you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
