I didn't shave. On purpose
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
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I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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