do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
