I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
