I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
