She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
