I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
