We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
