Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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