is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Can I color on your dick again?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
