playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
