3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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