he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
