Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
you made out with another girl for some wings
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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