Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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