i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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