I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
