started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize