Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
They left me at home... I'm a liability
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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