between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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