It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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