Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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