Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
