My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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