I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Where did you get a picture of my penis
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
