how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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