get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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