At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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