This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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