sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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