It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
