I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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