Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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