so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
