I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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