Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I could have mohawked her pubes.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
