is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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