Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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