So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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