i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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