I think I died a long time ago.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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