Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
