Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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