Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize