You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
