i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
