You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
