I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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