Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
