I wish I only lived at night.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
