i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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