____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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