well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
