Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Your cock deserves a montage
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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