chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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