i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
