Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
