after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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