I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
No subtext here. People are naked.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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